today madison has been in the world for 6 weeks. it has had it’s major highs and major lows. when it’s good it’s good and when it’s bad it’s bad. but i can honestly say even when i am at my breaking point, she will smile at me and it will all be worth it. for real. that is the truth. and the truth is hard to find when dealing with pregnancy & having a kid. people want to act like it is sunshine & roses all the time.. well i will give it to you straight. and feel free to ask my anything else and i’ll give you the real answer / my opinion on the topic. these are a few things that i have learned though in the first 6 weeks.

1.) people who tell you that the sound of your own child crying won’t bother you… are big fat LIARS. it bothers you. it’s awful. and you’ll feel like “WHAT DO YOU WANT???” — the fact that babies are born without being able to communicate is just ridiculous. what kind of a sick joke is that from god? it’s like let’s give these two parents this little tiny baby that needs them to survive. but WAIT, lets make this baby super needy. but WAIT, lets make sure that the baby can’t communicate what it wants at all. but WAIT, let’s also make sure this baby can’t move around on its own or do anything for itself. but WAIT, lets then let it have a shrill cry that will go off like an alarm to startle these parents and make them confused all the more. it’s a really fun game, guessing what she wants. brian and i enjoy it… “does she have poop?” — “no” — “is she hungry?” — “idk ask her…” — we’re really helpful

2.) get help the first 2 weeks. for reals. i can tell you we had help for the first two weeks and i still was thinking in my head “WTF did we just do?!” i literally thought this. and you will too. don’t worry it’s normal, i wont’ tell you that i am 100% so happy to be a mom 24/7 – there will be no sugar coating on this blog 🙂 but i WILLLL tell you it does get better, so hang in there. by this 6 week point, i feel much more comfortable with her and i no longer wish that i could give her back {well most of the time…}

3.) hanging out with your spouse is going to be difficult. and from my perspective it’s a little bit different b/c brian and i already had difficult schedules. with him working nights it has been a constant struggle for me to deal with her on the overnight, then want to be awake in the mornings in hang out with them both. we have had a lot of tag team days where i simply hand her off to him when he gets in and vice versa when he leaves for work, with a kiss on the lips and an adios… it’s been hard to spend ‘quality time’ – my biggest fear is when i go back to work that this is going to get even harder. making time for each other is going to be a constant struggle and one that i hope that we keep up with and are very delicate with. it is easy to get frustrated during this time & snap at each other… so if you’re doing that too it’s okay. it’s normal 🙂 but making that effort to make time for “US” is so important to me. i still want to be the love his life – is it bad i am already jealous of my daughter a little bit?!

4.) post baby body issues – boy oh boy am i dealing with this. even though i am losing the weight {slowly} it is extremely frustrating to see this new body in front of the mirror. all i can think about is, brian isn’t going to love this new body. this has been my hardest issue to date. from my posts and from anyone who knows me well, i think you will know that brian is pretty much the center of my universe {and now madison too} but his vision of me, is so important. i know they say just love yourself the way you are and everyone else will love you too, blah blah blah but i don’t love this new me yet. they say it takes awhile, and so i am trying to be patient but i also find myself staring at my figure in the mirror and then bursting into tears. so don’t worry if you’re doing the same – just text me & we can bitch about what these babies did to us! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT MADISON lol

5.) do NOT watch sad movies. ever. not even happy/sad romcoms. i cry in everything now. commercials included. crazy post pregnancies hormones are nuts. brian said i am going to blame my emotional self on hormones forever, and then i smacked him upside his insensitive head. btw boys don’t understand {see #6} — but i proceed to cry in anything sappy or sweet. stick to horror films and action flicks

6.) boys do NOT understand. do not expect your spouse to understand what you’re going through. yes you both might be sharing sleepless nights {or maybe you’re nice like me and letting your spouse sleep through the night for now} BUT they will not understand on an emotional level how you’re feeling – with body issues, frustrations about being a good mom, understanding what your child needs, breastfeeding, researching development and milestones, juggling the budget and your new families needs, finding a nanny… lets be honest but men aren’t going to understand how all of this weighs down on you. hopefully you can get yours to take on at least ONE of these projects. but juggling is the hardest part. there are so many new things to take care of and to learn with a baby. utilize your girlfriends to bitch to. that is what i do {sorry brian}

7.) google google google – this might not be a good answer for you but we google daily! how in the world are you supposed to know what to do w/ a baby. there needs to be a class – or some sort of a rent-a-baby that you get for a month or so before they give you the real thing. we are constantly googling things, for example, madison has some serious ear wax. we were wondering if we could clean that out, and the answer is NO. do not clean out your babies ears. there’s a tip for you. ear wax is good for them. who knew. but we google a lot. i think sometimes we google until we find the answer that we really want…… but that is another issue all together.

8.) your baby really does project your mood. if you are very upset and frustrated, take a minute to yourself before you collect your child b/c it is amazing but they sense your anxiety and they adopt it. if you can let her cry for a minute or two, compose yourself, then enter with a very loving & patient attitude, she will calm down much easier. this really does work. it is hard to do  however. it’s very hard for me to calm myself down when i am frustrated, but i have begun to take a breath and realize, she is a baby. she is MY baby, and she needs me for whatever it is at that moment. and she loves me. try to get yourself into a positive mantra b/c sometimes you’re going to want to rip your hair out.

9.) if you’re breast feeding, you are just a cow. you’re a food source. you have to pump constantly also or your boobs will feel like they’re going to explode. your husband will also think this is awesome, but you will not want them touched. my nipples still are bruised somewhat from so much action going on — but the benefits of breast feeding are worth it. her brain is developing in the first 9 months – it is the most crucial time for her. it will be worth it. keep telling yourself that.

10.) you will need 100,000 diapers in the first few months. madison poops/pees about every 52 seconds- so stock up. you can’t register for enough diapers. but don’t get too many newborn ones, they don’t use those for too long. stock pile on the 1’s & 2’s. and most certainly get the ones with the pee strip! they have a strip down the front that is yellow and turns blue when the baby is wet. it is much better than sticking your finger in there and seeing if you get a surprise.