i have had a troubled heart all night. since mommyhood i have started following a lot of fellow mommy bloggers. instagram has been an unbelievably amazing way to share & learn from other moms around the world. sometimes the interwebs seem like such a big scary place & i worry that i share too much, and then other times i am so very grateful for the opportunity to share so much and learn so much in return. there are some amazing women out there. some of them just seriously mind boggle me. how much they have been able to achieve. they are inspirational. and this is where the heavy heart comes in. tonight i read about a tragedy among one of these mommy bloggers @babyboybakery. she just lost her 3 year old son Ryan in a heartbreaking accident. it was sudden. and i can’t imagine what even one second of that must feel like. i lose my breath when i even let my mind wonder to that place. the place where madison is taken from me. the place where i am no longer a mom. i am crushed by the weight. i am drowning. from just the simple thought of it. i am not sure how someone survives such heartache. please pray with me and so many others for this family. i pray to God that he surrounds them & helps them through this time. that he helps them to stay afloat. to hold on to each other. and to find peace.

& the support via instagram for this family is equally unbelievable. moms supporting moms. across the globe. women who have never met. hurting for each other & wanting to help. i know that they there is very little i can do to help Jacqui and her family during this time, but like my fellow mommy bloggers we are going to hopefully make her feel loved. we are going to show her that there is support for her everywhere she looks. that her son Ryan will never be forgotten. there are a few shops (including indienook, loved by hannah and eli, little boogaweezin, and geo fox apparel)  that have created t-shirts to make sure that this happens, and that Ryan lives on. that he is memorialized through these small acts of kindness. 100% of the proceeds are going directly to the Cruz Saldana family. you can also donate in support of them via thrive moms, which is a ministry for moms to encourage and inspire you to do more than just survive motherhood. aka an amazing group of women. they said it best when they said

The message is clear–we have an opportunity to lift up Jacqui (@babyboybakery) and her husband and family as a community of moms that are committed to each other…committed to walking this journey of motherhood together…on the great days and the excruciating ones

and that’s really the truth of it isn’t it? you don’t need support until you need it. you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. hugging Madison tight tonight, and praying



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