One more week and I’m headed back to work. It seems like it has been longer than four months but then at the same time I can’t believe how fast it went by. That doesn’t even make sense as I sit here writing it but it’s true. I think how is Emma already 4 months old? But then I look in the mirror at my tired eyes and think I must not have slept for a lot longer than 4 months. The whole newborn stage is a blur this time. There have been moments of total breakdown and moments of pure joy. There have been moments when I asked myself why in the world did we do this again, and then others when I sit back and think I could have a few more of these (Brian says no….). The second time has been so very different but I still find myself torn about this upcoming transitional phase the same way I was with Madison. Emma hasn’t been out of my sight for very long since her birth. With Madison we were able to jump back into normal life a little easier it seemed. She refuses to eat from Brian so I fear a hunger strike and she is always looking for me. That will be the hardest part – walking away and knowing that she’s going to be looking for me all day and confused why I am not there. When they are so little they don’t remember that you come back! The sad look. The mother’s guilt is already building up. I am hoping for no meltdowns week one (from me or them). And then there is Madison, who has enjoyed me being home for the 4 months. I’ve been prepping her for imminent departure back to the office and she said she will facetime me everyday. Thank goodness for technology. We are getting in a lot of much needed mother/daughter time this week and next before she turns four. I can’t even start talking about that yet, I will tear up. Madison turning four and me returning to work in the same week. Waterworks. I hope Brian will be prepared for my mental state that week – and for the chaotic circus he is about to take over. So to distract myself from the inevitable cry fest I am doing a little retail therapy and doing some “back to work shopping.” It really does soothe the soul. I mean, lets be honest I haven’t been out of sweats and nursing bras for quite some time. I am looking forward to doing my hair, not getting vomit in it, and leaving the house for a little! Not all of my clothes fit yet (damn you baby weight) but we are getting there. So I’ve sized up for a few purchases to get me through the winter/spring and not wanting to throw all my clothes in the lawn. Plus there have been some GREAT sales!!! like this lace top jumpsuit i just scooped up (extra 60% off at checkout!) and this bib shirt that I am obsessed with (and comes out to only $15).
also LOVE this coat !
and these dresses